I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
