I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
