Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
