Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
