I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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