By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
