He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
