im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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