My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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