Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
