Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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