she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
