Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize