No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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