yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
