I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
