it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
