I will die if light touches me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
