If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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