can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
