If that was your dad, he is hot
I need to stop coming to work sober
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
