watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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