So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
