Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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