I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
false alarm. still invincible.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
