A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize