we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
40s are totally the cure
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
