All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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