there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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