Need sex. Gaining weight.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
