Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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