What did we do last night that was yellow?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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