Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
