So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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