hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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