No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
