Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
