What a fucking waste of an outfit
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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