i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
