Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This is my gift to your gina
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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