U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
