it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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