Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
