Umm I'm too high to move.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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