Pants 0. Shit 1.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
