I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
