My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
