you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I supernannyed him into submission
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
