So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
