part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
