ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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