you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
