i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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