Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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