I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
