At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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