For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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