I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
