So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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