My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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