YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
