She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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