so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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